I had a dream where all that is good in heaven was available to me, but my enemies (real and imagined) were blocking my access. I was both afraid and revulsed and could not even approach. My heart's desire was to be with God and be with Him in heaven. So, I moved closer to them with revulsion, enmity and fear mounting. I noticed they were smiling and offering hugs. What a cruel joke! I thought. This is no dream, it is a nightmare! I turned away in disgust, heaving with difficult breaths due to fear-stoked adrenaline. I prayed "God, is there no way to get to you except through them?"
"This is the way," He spoke quietly in my heart, "and you are so close. Why would you let them stop you from heaven?"
"What do I do?"
So, I turned and ran at them with my arms open wide. I closed my eyes in terror for what might happen. Tears streaming down my face. I was met with a warm embrace. Instead of my enemies, it was the Lord Himself. He held me as I sobbed uncontrollably, saying, "I didn't know. I didn't know."
Pray for me
Fr John Brian